The Sound of Muzak

Killing me softly with this song . . .

The elevators were alive with the sound of Muzak. Up and down they went as mindless melodies leaked out of the hidden speakers designed to soothe the riders' minds. A sappy hatching of musical notes that sauntered across the airwaves into the heads of the captive listeners. A blasé amalgam of sonic pap, robbing the soul of inspiration and quelling the need to think. 

Muzak was foisted on the captive masses to induce them to shop. It was invented from a need. The need for peace, the need to be pleasantly lulled into a sense of complacent security. A need to fill the ebb of silence that distracts one from shopping. 

It was something that could turn people into zombies, particularly shopping zombies and elevator zombies. This music was smooth and tasteless to the point of inducing a somatic trance in the average listener. It was a brain wash, literally sweeping inspiration out of the listener's mind and replacing it with herd stupidity. It was the envoy of complacency, the bringer of no-thought to the mind. 

And so the people rebelled. They didn't want self-satisfaction. They wanted mental freedom, they wanted to think for themselves and they wanted the ability to make hard decisions. They wanted worry and passion, love and hate, good and bad in their lives and Muzak was a sonic blanket that stifled their lucidity. The jazzers, the rock and rollers, the classicists all rose up in defiance. They denounced Muzak. They buzzed about how it was ruining their minds. They went to court and invaded the political arena, all with one thing in mind, to vanquish Muzak. And they were successful. On October 9, 1986, the last vestige of Muzak dribbled out of a torn speaker in an Albany Safeway. Muzak was no more, the people had won. 

Now, 35 years later, I sit and wonder. People are killing each other. The climate is changing for the worse. Cars are lined up in endless traffic, their exhaust polluting the atmosphere. Racism and sexism are rampant. A pandemic rages on, killing millions of people. The relentless crush of social media and advertising threatens my sanity. The supermarkets are crowded with rude, boorish people. 

And so, please forgive me, I yearn for the sound of Muzak. The sweet siren song of serenity. Yes, I wish to be the lord of the ordinary, master of the banal once again.

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Speaker photo by Scott Major • Space Brain photo by Adrien Converse • Sand photo by Ben White